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Wikipedia:Peer review/Bank Street (stadium)/archive1

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I believe that the content of the article is as detailed as it is going to get. I have done as much with the few references available as I can, and although I'm sure there are several improvements to be made, I'd like to see about getting this article to GA status. Thanks, – PeeJay 17:24, 24 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from ChrisTheDude (talk · contribs)

[edit]
  • Is there sufficient info to fill out a stadium infobox?
    • There is enough to fill in the required fields and a couple of optional ones. I have now added an infobox to the article.
  • Are there any images available, either of the stadium as it was or of what now stands in its place?
    • I have added a picture of the Manchester Velodrome to the article, albeit not as the main image as that might be confusing.
  • wikilink 1893-94 season
    • Done.
  • "despite the new stadium, Newton Heath were unable to retain their First Division status at the end of the season" - this is a bit of a non-sequitur, the stadium did not affect the quality of the team's performances or their final league position
    • Reworded.
  • "the stuff of legend" - bit informal
    • Reworded.
  • wikilink 1894-95 season
    • Done.
  • "they were finally persuaded to take to the field, although they needn't have bothered" - reads far too informally, like something you'd see in a fanzine rather than an encyclopedia
    • Removed the offending phrase.
  • what's with the broken template in the middle of the sentence starting "one report"?
    • Fixed. Strange how I never noticed it the first time round.

Hope this helps! -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 09:13, 25 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Cheers for the comments mate. Very helpful. – PeeJay 10:26, 25 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
One more point - should "Bradford and Clayton athletic ground" have captials on the last two words.........? -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 10:57, 25 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The source I have refers to the ground, via a transcript of a Manchester Evening News article, as "the well known Bradford and Clayton athletic ground, Bank Lane, Clayton". – PeeJay 11:00, 25 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Fair enough :-) -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 12:42, 25 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Oldelpaso (talk · contribs)

[edit]
  • Burnley aren't/weren't local rivals
    • My mistake. Corrected.
  • For consistency, Broughton R.F.C. should probably be used.
  • "restricted by the running track that encompassed the pitch, which could not be removed by the request of the Bradford and Clayton Athletic Company." - could give the impression that the Athletic Company requested its removal.
    • Fixed word order.
  • "were saved at the last minute by a wealthy local brewer" - presumably not literally the last minute.
    • How does "saved at the eleventh hour" sound?
  • For an image, you could try looking for an old OS map showing the location of the ground.
    • I have found an appropriate OS map, but Bank Street is not marked very well. How would you suggest I annotate it?
  • There's quite a bit more material about the ground in Manchester: A Football History. I'll put some of it in at some point. Oldelpaso (talk) 09:22, 28 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]