User talk:Shelby234/sandbox

Looking good so far! Advevol (talk) 14:06, 11 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Hi! I fixed a few grammar and clarity things. I made all my comments by editing the article, so if there is anything you don't like don't feel like you have to keep it! Some specifics from your main text: 1) you mentioned stigmas in line 4 but define it later. You should define this here where you first mention it instead. This can also be fixed when you add in links later to other Wiki articles 2) in the last paragraph you mention gametes and this term seems to come out of nowhere. I would just stick with the word pollen especially because non-plant people will be reading this. 3) the last sentence seems forced/out of place. I don't think you need to bring up the evidence from the cretaceous period multiple times. 4) i think a lot of statements would benefit from more citations! It looks like you have a few good papers that cover the topic, but you are heavily reusing them. 5) i need paragraphs! when going into edit mode it look liked there were some potential spots for breaks, but I wasn't sure so I didn't mess with it. For anything else you can see my changes in the edit comparison history. Let me know if you have questions. Great start! Hedgehog1017 (talk) 16:56, 5 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Hey Shelb, I added some comments into your article. Enjoy. --Greenhouseguy420 (talk) 00:06, 11 April 2017 (UTC)Greenhouseguy420[reply]

So, like Hedgehog, I needed paragraphs. So I divided it up into what I though were somewhat logical sections so that I could read through it. I would definitely decide what makes sense to you, and then add sub-headings, like "Buzz pollinators" where you describe the bees and the process, "Plant morphology", "Evolutionary origins", etc. I think there's a lot of great info here, it just needs to be broken up and put into a logical order. I have many specific comments in the text related to that. My other concern is whether or not you can actually replace the buzz pollination article that is actually on wikipedia already. After you have revised your article, I would suggest asking our content editor, Ian, for his advice. Keep up the good work! Advevol (talk) 20:04, 12 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks everyone for the comments! I addressed the comments, and organized my article into several subsections. I also added more information/citations especially in the evolutionary origins of buzz pollination section. I added several examples of bees and plants and I went ahead and linked to other articles as well. I also generalized my lead section so it as not as repetitive as the article as a whole. Shelby234 (talk) 01:42, 20 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]