User talk:Rachel Benedict/sandbox

Tim and Rachel

It is obvious to me you have spent some time on this article. It is well laid out and puts forward a lot of great information. As I read through your article I would suggest just a few minor changes. You have a lot of good sources and the article is really full of great information. A couple changes I would suggest are the following:

 I would eliminate the word of in the following phrase:

'These representations of are

In paragraph 2 this sentence brings across a good point, but seemed a mouthful to me. Maybe break it into two sentences.

• • • Current feminist studies are striving towards including heavier than normal models in high end, top selling women’s magazines — Preceding unsigned comment added by Amadlom (talk • contribs) 23:48, 26 April 2016 (UTC)

, a “feminist” would issue a larger sized model who represents, or nearly represents, the average woman (8).

issue change to argue?