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Talk:Come Out and Play (Billie Eilish song)/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Kyle Peake (talk · contribs) 07:53, 1 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]


Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Will review this today; just remember, check you have done all of my points before marking them as done. --Kyle Peake (talk) 07:53, 1 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox and lead

[edit]
  • Cover art needs alt text
  • Remove target to Billie Eilish under Songwriter(s)
  • Add a ref that supports the lowercase stylization; maybe write this out in the body somewhere?

Kyle Peake I cannot find any source for this.

DarklyShadows The NME ref 12 works and remember to sign posts off like this --Kyle Peake (talk) 06:20, 2 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The song was released" → "The song was released for digital download and streaming as a single" with the appropriate targets
  • Writing/production belongs as the second sentence instead
  • "who also produced the track" → "with the latter solely handling production"
  • Target ballad to Sentimental ballad
  • "Eilish's lyrics on the song" → "Eilish's lyrics within the song"
  • "including Eilish trying" → "including her attempting" to be less repetitive
  • "The track was released alongside" → "The song was released alongside"
  • "for which it provides the soundtrack" → "which it is used as the soundtrack for"
  • "The song received" → ""Come Out and Play" received"
  • "It charted in various countries including" → "The song charted in various countries, including"
  • "the United Kingdom and reached" → "the United Kingdom, and reached"
  • "The song was later included on the Japan" → "It was later included on the Japanese"
  • "of her debut studio album" → "of Eilish's debut studio album,"
  • "along with "When I Was Older"" → "along with her single "When I Was Older"." with the appropriate wikilink
  • Remove the compilation album sentence as this is irrelevant to the article
  • Spacing issues between the lead and the first section

 Done

Background and composition

[edit]
  • "Eilish and her brother were approached by Apple, who sent them" → "Eilish and her brother Finneas O'Connell were approached by Apple, with the company sending them" with the wikilink and target
  • "early version a festive commercial" → "early version of a festive commercial" with the target
  • "of the advert. It was recorded in their" → "of the advert, recording it in their"
  • Mention that the premiere was on November 20, 2018
  • "through record labels" → "through the record labels"
  • "on November 20, 2018" → "on the same day"
  • "as a standalone single" → "as a single" with the target
  • Mention when the edition was released
  • "the singer and her brother Finneas O'Connell, and he also" → "the singer and O'Connell, and he"
  • "by studio personnel, John Greenham" → "by the studio personnel John Greenham"
  • Paragraphs 2 and 3 should be in a separate section titled Composition and lyrics; the first section of para 1 should be titled Background and recording
  • "According to sheet music website Musicnotes.com," → "According to Musicnotes.com,"
  • Wikilink tempo to itself
  • Remove wikilink on beats per minute
  • "the notes of G3 and A$" → "the notes of G4 and A$"
  • "said the song has" → "said the song features"
  • "in it's instrumentation" → "in its instrumentation"
  • The Michigan Daily is an unreliable source since it's a student newspaper
  • "Eilish states:" → "Eilish stated:"
  • Remove targets on Apple and commercial
  • "the song is used, entitled "Share Your Gifts"." → "the song is used."
  • "Eilish encourages someone" → "She encourages someone"
  • "and overcome their fears:" → "and overcome fears:"
  • "mentions that Eilish's vocals" → "mentioned that Eilish's vocals"

 Done

Reception and promotion

[edit]
  • The Apple info belongs after the critical and commercial reception
  • Why is this touted as a music video when it's supposed to be for a soundtrack of the commercial? Keep the info but fix wording
  • "In it, people are scared" → "In the video, the characters are scared"
  • "come out show their talents to the world" → "show their talents to the world"
  • "as Eilish sings lyrics" → "while Eilish sings lyrics"
  • Remove target on music critics
  • "and he wouldn't be" → "and said he would not be"
  • Try to replace The Michigan Daily review with another, since the song received adequate coverage
  • ""Come Out and Play" debuted at number 69" → "The song debuted at number 69"
  • Target to Billboard Hot 100 should be on Billboard Hot 100
  • "The song also charted in" → "The song further charted in"
  • If these are sorted alphabetically, put the Netherlands inbetween Latvia and Sweden
  • Mention what the certification of 80,000 denotes, indicates, or whatever the correct wording is in this context

 Done

Credits and personnel

[edit]
  • Good

Charts

[edit]
  • Good

Certifications

[edit]
  • Good

References

[edit]
  • Make sure all of these are archived by using the tool
  • Copyvio score is too high at 48.7%; fix the Insider ref

user:Kyle Peake Can I ask what you mean by this?

DarklyShadows Reduce the amount of direct quoting from the ref --Kyle Peake (talk) 06:20, 2 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Change Variance Magazine to Variance on ref 3 but keep the target
  • Cite various iTunes Stores for ref 4 to verify it was more than one country and put the retailer in brackets; (US), for example
  • Cite musicjapanet as publisher instead for ref 5
  • Fix MOS:QWQ issues with ref 9
  • Ref 11 is from an unreliable source as I mentioned
  • Ref 27 is a duplicate of ref 21
  • Billie Eilish: Chart History - Alternative Digital Song Sales → Billie Eilish Chart History (Alternative Digital Song Sales) on ref 33
  • Billie Eilish: Chart History - Pop Digital Song Sales → Billie Eilish Chart History (Pop Digital Song Sales) on ref 34
[edit]
  • Good

Final comments and verdict

[edit]

Kyle Peake I have done all of your requests. Let me know if there is anything else I need to do. DarklyShadows (talk) 21:52, 2 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@DarklyShadows: I have done some copyediting, but you still need to add than HNHH ref and also I have noticed MOS:QWQ issues with the Musicnotes.com ref that need fixing. --Kyle Peake (talk) 06:27, 3 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Kyle Peake I have added that to the reception area and fixed the MOS:QWQ problem. DarklyShadows (talk) 06:29, 3 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

DarklyShadows Just remembered you still have not run Fix dead links on the article for archiving. --Kyle Peake (talk) 06:30, 3 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Kyle Peake  Done DarklyShadows (talk) 06:31, 3 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

DarklyShadows It appears you forgot to do this; I am assuming good faith as you may not remember how to use the tool, done for you.  Pass on the article now, move discussion may be going on but that doesn't mean the article itself lacks stability, since no one is editing the content at all. --Kyle Peake (talk) 07:16, 3 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Kyle Peake Shoot I thought the fix dead links was in the history section. My mistake. DarklyShadows (talk) 07:20, 3 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]