Talk:Blackway

Old plot text

I rewrote the plot, to address the bloat complaint. Brought it from 641 words to 408. I also corrected some facts (eg Lester uses a rifle, not a shotgun, and Blackway is a *former* police officer) and changed some of the emphasis.

The description of the final fight is perhaps still too long (2 paragraphs) but I see no way to shorten it without either misrepresenting the story or eliminating all detail.

Below is the previous version of the text.

 == Plot ==

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In an Oregon logging community, Lillian, a woman newly returned to her hometown after the death of her mother, is being harassed by a local police officer-turned-criminal Blackway who operates with impunity.

After Blackway kills her cat, Lillian goes to the town sheriff for help, but is effectively told that her best option is to leave town, which she refuses. The sheriff fears Blackway and tells her to go to the town lumberyard mill and ask for a man named Scotty. Scotty isn't at the mill, and the elderly men in the office also tell her she should leave town.

One of the older men at the mill, Lester, decides to help Lillian, along with a young mill employee Nate. Nate is a simple man, but is strong and has a good heart. The three drive around looking for Blackway at various locations. Through their quest, details are revealed about the town's locals through flashbacks, conversations, and narratives; this includes Scotty, who is shown to have been severely beaten by Blackway.

It is also hinted that Lester's daughter, who died of suicide, may have been abusing drugs, linking her to the drug kingpin Blackway. Through various associates of Blackway, the group finds his shady accountant, Murdoch, at a bar. Murdoch gets into a fight with Nate, and seems to have the upper hand after pinning Nate to a table, until Lester bends Murdoch's fingers backwards. Nate turns the tables and the three are able to exit.

At a diner, Lester learns of Blackway's motel, where he runs his drug business as well as other criminal activities. They find Blackway at his motel in the afternoon, but do not take action, as Lester can see no good opportunity at that time. Inside one of the motel rooms, Lillian finds an old school acquaintance dazed and handcuffed to a bed, and releases her while Lester and Nate distract two of Blackway's men. Lester takes a handgun from one of the men, while Nate acquires a shotgun. Nate causes an explosion, presumably because meth was being cooked in the room. They are able to escape and Lillian puts her old acquaintance on a bus to get out of town.

With evening setting in, the three drive up into the deep woods. Since Nate and Lester have been causing Blackway so much trouble all day, Lester knows that he will be looking for them. They settle in for the night at a former job site in the woods, and Lester goes off with his shotgun, leaving Lillian and Nate alone together. Blackway shows up during the night, with a pistol pointed at Lillian and Nate. Lester has a clear shot of Blackway and is about to kill him, but Nate, not knowing about Lester's vantage point, fends off Blackway to protect Lillian and himself. By the time Lester is able to get another clear shot at Blackway, Murdoch discovers him and shoots him, while Blackway is able to knock out Nate.

Lillian escapes and is chased by Blackway into a cabin. Before Murdoch can finish off Lester in the trailer, Nate attacks Murdoch and beats him to death. After a tense game of cat-and-mouse between Blackway and Lillian inside the cabin, they both make it back outside to the campfire area, where Blackway is finally killed by Lester with his shotgun. Lester tells them that they'll have to drag Blackway and Murdoch's bodies deep into the woods so that the wild animals will scavenge their bodies and they'll never be found.

The three drive back into town at daybreak. Whizzer, an elderly man who works in the mill office, sees the pickup truck and realizes that the town is finally rid of Blackway. Lester is dropped off at his house, while Lillian and Nate are driving back to their homes, and an attraction is evident.
— Black Walnut ^talk 20:48, 22 August 2024 (UTC)