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Talk:Bailey, Iowa/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 20:13, 10 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]


Comments

  • In general the article feels like it's suffering from proseline, lots of choppy, short (sometimes single-sentence) paragraphs. This could be tidied up which would benefit the flow and appearance of the article.
Thanks for the detailed review. I have merged some paragraphs together. I will continue to merge where appropriate.
  • " whistle stop" link?
Now linked.
  • "known as Wapsie, but should not be confused with another community in northeastern Iowa named Wapsie." I would create a redirect at Wapsie, Iowa and then have a hat-note here using the {{distinguish}} template.
I have added the {{distinguish}} template at the top of this page. I'll do something similar at Wapsie, Iowa. Bailey was only known as Wapsie for a few years in the 1800s, while Wapsie has been known as Wapsie for over 100 years.
  • So in the lead we have "community"/"unincorporated community" and "incorporated town"/town, all used to describe Bailey. Be consistent.
I was attempting to summarize the article in the lead, per WP:LEAD, as Bailey was first unincorporated, then incorporated, and then back to unincorporated.
  • "A shared use nature trail lies" what's one of those?
I've linked shared use path in the lead.
  • "The community lies just ..." tense issues, or is it still a "community" but not still a "town"?
There's not much of a town there, now. Bailey still appears on county maps, but there are only a few scattered farms.
  • "The plat map of Bailey." fragment, no full stop.
I've adjusted to full sentence
  • "who settled that section" repetitive.
Adjusted, thanks.
  • "death in 1882. In 1856" repetitive.
  • "Leroy Foot. Foot opened" repetitive.
Adjusted, thanks.
  • "home of Leroy Foot, beginning" no need to repeat first name unless just using surname is ambiguous.
Okay, adjusted
  • "in Spring 1856" avoid seasons, and why is that capitalised?
Changed to lower-case. The source says "spring" and I don't want to invent a month.
  • "of the Chicago Great Western Railway) through " overlinked.
Removed wikilink, thanks.
  • "post office, historically the second post office" repetitive.
  • "an incorporated town in " why isn't this linked in the lead as well?
It now is; thanks.
  • "in 1902.[11] In 1911, the" repetitive.
  • "These were Bailey's peak years." in population sense?
Yeah.
  • "balked at this expenditure" which was?
The source, unfortunately, doesn't say. They just didn't want to pay for the graveling.
  • " to unincorporated community" shouldn't this be linked here?
It now is. Thanks.
  • "One major loss was the post office. Open since 1887, Bailey's post office closed on January 31, " first sentence is POV and these two can be merged to avoid quick repetition of "post office".
Adjusted.
  • "through Second Grade" is that normally capitalised?
Changed to lower-case.
  • "its rail lines.[17] The rail line was removed in 1982,[18] and the line " line-tastic.
Adjusted. That's why these reviews are so helpful. I never would have noticed the redundancy.
  • The shared use thing isn't mentioned in the article itself, just the lead.
The nature trail mentioned in the body of the article is a shared use path. I've adjusted the text so it's more clear the shared-use path in the lead is the same as the nature trail in the body of the article.
  • Refs 2, 4 and 8 have spaced hyphens, should be en-dash.
Adjusted, thanks.

That's all I have. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 16:25, 12 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, The Rambling Man. I've made some adjustments based on your feedback, and will continue to refine. What do you think so far? Better? Worse? Firsfron of Ronchester 17:22, 13 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
It still feels very choppy. Lots of very small paras. And the sentence starting "The community was just north..." is unreferenced. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 08:59, 17 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Firsfron any progress? The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 15:32, 21 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks for following up, The Rambling Man. I had a death in the family and have been preoccupied; I didn't know this would happen when I nominated the article for GA in July. Sorry for the delayed response. Per your observations, I have combined several paragraphs and added a few sources for the river location and length. Firsfron of Ronchester 20:28, 22 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Firsfron sorry for your loss, and of course that takes priority over everything else, especially Wikipedia. I only have one real issue remaining, that of the bare demographic section which just contains a table. It may be worth left-aligning that and adding it into the previous section. Also, "Cram's Modern Atlas,[11]" no need for that comma, and I would imagine Cram's Modern Atlas to be a work thus in italics. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 07:33, 27 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks for your patience, The Rambling Man. I've gone ahead and made your above suggested changes. I think the table looks better incorporated into the text, so that was a most excellent suggestion. Firsfron of Ronchester 22:03, 3 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]